A Life in the Day of Me

Ahhh, life continues.

Sat, 02 Apr 2005 03:01:39 GMT

It is amazing how life gets really fast and things get neglected (like laundry and blogs). But between my MCAT prep course and work I have been so zonked lately (the Xanax probably isn't helping either).
Per my trainer, I should be eating 2000 calories daily. I do not know if I am capable of eating 2000 calories daily, but increasing food intake would probably be good, especially since I got nausea (sp?) and dizzy during my work out today (oops).
Anyway, 14 days until my MCATs and I am freaking out because I cannot get myself to study. I have been sitting here for 4 hours telling myself I need to study and doing absolutely nothing (though I did start laundry). I need motivation.

Anyway, love all who read and will try to write again later. Going to attempt to study.

Kiya

Impulse control issues

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 02:20:12 GMT

I know understand why they say, Never give prozac to a suicidal person without strict monitoring. While i am not suicidal, I am seriously lacking impulse control. I think something and then i have to do it - why cannot i not seriously think about exercising. But seriously, i swear i have put on ten pounds in the past week, i am a red head again and my nails are a dark red color, reminicent of 9th grade.

Anyway, must say that the decrease in insomnia is great, have been getting atleast 6 hours sleep a night, but on a negative, didn't make it to work much yet this week. Yesterday it was really wierd, my right eye was over dialeted and thus, had difficulty seeing (probably shouldn't have been driving) and hurt, so i went home early. And then today i got up and didn't feel like working, so didn't. Seriously need help with that impulse control thing.

Anyone have any suggestions for improving impulse control (mainly to decrease the random food binges, if it didn't skeez me out so much, i might consider bulimia at this point) Help . .
Kiya

My life on legal drugs

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 03:09:54 GMT

Hmmm, get to write it again cause journal company ate my last missive.

Update on my return to the world of pharmacuitical, at least this time they are actually prescribed for me.

So far usual side effects: slight anxiety incrase, restlessness, muscle aches, etc. It has managed to cure my insomnia, but i am not sure if narcolepsy counts as an improvment - i am assuming that will improve with time. As for improving mood or controlling cycles, i am assuming i will not experince any changes in that until i have been on it for 2-4 weeks.

Part of me is hoping this drug will make me blissfully happy, with endless enegery and be socially adept.

The more realistic side is hoping for no more random crying spells (when i have a reason, fine; if i am telling my doctor about my toe fungus, not fine), fewer manic states (must really hide the credit card, maybe i can have phil restrict my usage when we move to chicago) and over all be more stable.

The cynical side of me is paranoid that it is going to make me full blown manice, fraglantly psychotic and suicidal.

I wonder how that effects the placebo effect?

Anyway, medicine is going to knock me out shortly, so good night.

Kiya

Hmmm, expensive drugs. . .

Thu, 03 Mar 2005 21:48:49 GMT

Well, I finally decided to do something about my mood swings, and got a really expensive drug prescription today (254.39$ for one month supply, thank god for insurance, it only cost me 40.00$).
I start Symbyax today, it is a combo of prozac and a mood regulator drug (don't remember which one). Hopefully, this will decrease the days i don't want to get out of bed, allow me to not get hyper than crash and stop randomly crying (I even started crying in the doctor's office when I was explaining my symptoms, and not the mood swings, but my toe fungus - I know it was cause i was nervous about talking about mood swings, but hey).
Guess what the prescription for the toenail fungus was Vaporub, go figure.
Also, i get my first ultra sound ever tommorow, they are going to see if i have gallstones, maybe that explains the indigestion, if not they will have to prescibe me IBS medications.
Hopefully, this will all help me feel better, be less fatigued and be able to friken focus, that will be SO nice.
Anyway, i will keep you updated on my symptoms on medications.
Luv y'all
Kiya

ps. how, when or do i tell my mother i am on antidepressants, cause, as i am sure y'all may know, she is going to freak ( :

Bye Bye Baby

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 03:56:08 GMT

I have been so spoiled, phil got here on wednesday night (he surprised me and came a day early) and we have spent the past four days together (apart from work on thursday). Today he had to go home (which was nice cause i needed some me time, and did not study enough this weekend) but now i miss him. I am getting ready to go to bed, and am unfortunatly having to go to bed alone. I so miss him (and he is only been gone for 8 hours).
God i am sappy,
Oh well, must sleep, i have a 19 hour day tomomorow.
Night night.
Kiya

Oh yeah, phil and i went to get our hair cut together on friday (that was an interesting experience, but he was so cute while waiting)and he got his past shoulder length hair cut all off, it is like an inch long now. I forgot how cute he was with long hair.

And, i am twenty four now (i feel so old)

More surveys - this one is a little more riske

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 03:13:31 GMT

Feeling a little naugthy to night, feel free to answer what you feel comfortable answering. I will answer mine after tommorow.

THE number:
THE age:
Number of boyfriends (past ones hopefully, not multiple at same time, also girlfriends, don't want to discriminate):
Weirdest Dare in "Truth or Dare":
Favorite position:
Favorite drink:
Weirdest/coolest place:
Bad habits:
Biggest broken rule:

And my brain has run out.
Kiya

MCAT Hell

Sun, 20 Feb 2005 03:07:28 GMT

Why couldn't I want to be a lawyer, the LSAT looks like fun. I HATE the MCATs. I just spent 9 hours (not counting the 3 hour round trip) taking a practice MCAT and the most memorable thing about it right now is it made me feel like and idiot.
I think organic chem, general chem, biology, physics, reading comp AND two essays, is TOO much, can't i just paint a picture.
Oh yeah, i started painting again. They are more industrial then what i have done in the pas, but are kinda a combo of heavy texture and feirce color with animals (one has my tattoo, the butterfly and the other has a dragon, though i forgot his wings so he had kinda tiny useless ones). Oh yeah, also did a scenery with mountains, a castle and cliffs with water for phil's birthday last year.
I am having difficulty with my current one, i somehow has become mostly black. Anyone have and ideas on what i can do with it?

Anyway, i am zonked, going to bed now.
Love y'all
Kiya

I don't like the color test - i think it is wrong. . .

Sat, 19 Feb 2005 03:07:07 GMT

I took the passion test, it is SOOOO wrong .. . like i care about messing up my hair, especially when sex is the issue ( :

Your Passion is Purple

Sophisticated and classy, you're a bit picky about sex.
You're more likely to be turned on by a fancy hotel room than a dirty flick.
Sex is fine enough, as long as it doesn't mess up your hair.
For you, sex is more about power and favors than actually pleasure.

What Color Is Your Passion?

Me still alive

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 05:14:02 GMT

I am glad to hear everyone else is alive too, life just seems to get incredibly busy, either with school, work, immigration crap (i feel ya on that paper work hun) boyfriends, sleep, needing lots of sleep.

Well i am sure you all know this information about eachother, but i am nosy and need to catch up, so if you wouldn't mind answering the following, i would appreciate it.

School status:
Significant other:
Marriages/children:
Current home:
Best thing over past 5 years:
Worst thing over past 5 years:
Jobs:
Anything else of relevance:

As for me,
School status: Have my masters in Clincal Psychology, currently taking an MCAT prep course so i can go to medical college
Significant other: Phil, been dating on and off for about 4 1/2 years (more on than off), and i will probably marry him.
Marriages/children: None for me, all my siblings got married, and my oldest brother is on his second child.
Current home: Valdosta Georgia
Best thing over past 5 years: Weekend trip to Vegas, Falling in love, graduating with masters
Worst thing over past 5 years: Breaking up with phil (thankfully we got back together) not being able to decided what i want to do with my life.
Jobs: Subway for two years, worked with juvinile delinquents for 8 months, been working with adult inmates for a year and a half.
Anything else of relevance: Must sleep now.

Well, woudl time more, but i need to sleep, gotta work in teh morning
Love yall
Kiya

ps. ummm, there is nothin' wrong with sayin' bin, fixin't, y'all, or any other set of contractions ( :

Finding Old Friends

Wed, 16 Feb 2005 04:22:17 GMT

Dear diary . . .hmm that sounds too old school, Hiyas . .

Hm. What to write, it is 1130 at night, i have to be at work at 0730 and then drive to my MCAT prep class following work (long day) - i should go to sleep.

Must make note of my purpose this this blog though - friends.
I am not sure how this works, but i assume that if you ended up reading this you are either an insomnia and wandering through journals and happened upon mine, or i tagged you as a friend and you are wondering who the heck i am.

Well, being my paranoid self, i hate putting my real name on the internet, but you used to call me Sailor Mercury, i moved to Georgia in tenth grade and i really suck at writing letters. Hopefully that will clue y'all in.

Anyway, i miss you all very much, think of you often, and hope we can reconnect, cause well you were some of the coolest girls i have ever met.

Anyway, must sleep now, but but look forward to catching up.
Luv y'all very much,
Kiya